Yesterday I learned that a dear lady had passed away, just last month.

Her name was Sue and she was the publican for the Tumbarumba Hotel in New South Wales. She had battled with suicide ideation on at least one occasion.

In 2020 I jumped in the family car with my 14yo son and traveled across the country from Adelaide to meet her and husband Greg and their awesome team of pub stuff, along with some friendly locals.

They had seen my work on Great Aussie Pubs website and that I was offering a Suicide Prevention Checklist for publicans and bar staff so they knew what sayings to look out for when people were in distress, and we also held a Pubs Supporting People Day, pushing tables together instead of keeping them apart. Essentially disobeying the 1.5m social isolation rules that Governments of the day were trying to pass down.

We did it in order to create more community during those difficult times.

It was something she wanted to do for the town and the pub. A pub that was a bedrock of support during the difficult times of fires and floods in the area in 2019/20.

Sue, Greg and the team supported their community during those tough times. In the same way pubs today can support their community.

When I becomes We, Illness becomes Wellness. And so when someone presents with suicide distress, a conversation can help that person to feel safe again. That is when we can bring wellness back to someone's life.

Motivator Tony Robbins says "There's a reason we suffer - we are focused on ourselves and the human mind likes to fix problems. When you trade expectations for appreciation, you find gratitude. And gratitude and suffering cannot co-exist.

"Noticing the grace that's in your life in some way is what stops us from suffering."

So, when we sit with someone who is experiencing suicide distress and don't try fixing them, you mirror to them what they need to know - that their and your presence is enough and being seen and heard and validated is a part of the healing journey.

If you're a Pub Whisperer or a Community Whisperer and you've shown up to help someone through their distress, then there's something for them to be grateful for. That is you, because you have shown up for them when they needed it. When they see that, they show up for themselves, by the act of being grateful, through noticing something outside of themselves and outside of their suffering and they find gratitude for it. It breaks the cycle and gives them hope.

The Glass Empty Signal, The Whisperer Team and The Pub Whisperer is not just a method, a model and a signal for suicide prevention... it's a movement in social kindness. It's making compassion cool.

With the Aldinga Whisperer Team, we are creating a blueprint for other Whisperer Teams to exist, so that the place people often go to escape the world, the pub, they can find a reason, or hope or something to be grateful about and be supported by people who care. Rather than escape the world in the pub, they can find their voice with a BRAVE conversation... Being Real and Voicing (Their) Emotions where someone supportive can Be Real and Validate (Their) Emotions.

Tonight at the Aldinga Hotel we will host a Pubs Supporting People Event with guest speaker Dan Ward from Project HYPE. If there's a mate you care or are concerned about, bring them along to hear some messages on ways you and they can support better mental health.

**PUBLIC EVENT, SEPTEMBER 10**
In the seaside suburb of Aldinga, South Australia, two new concepts in suicide prevention are currently being trialed by caring locals.

The GLASS EMPTY Suicide Prevention Signal (www.glassempty.org) is a way for people suffering with suicide distress to get the assistance they need when the words are too hard to say.
The simple signal – an upturned glass with a coaster on its base – indicates that one’s glass is empty, literally and metaphorically. And a conversation can help fill the cup, so to speak. They can show the signal to those in the pub or offer a GLASS EMPTY coaster to someone in the pub to start the conversation.

Supporting this initiative is a group of caring community members known as The Aldinga Whisperer Team (www.thewhispererteam.org). When someone presents with emotional distress at the local pub, the Aldinga Hotel or local brewery, “The Pub Whisperer”, that’s an empathetic bartender who is prepared to help, can assist with a quiet and confidential conversation to get them feeling safe again.

If the Pub Whisperer is too busy or unable to help, they can call on one of the six local community members, trained with suicide prevention skills, to come in for a conversation, and get the person in distress to safety.

These two world-first initiatives can be used around the country in pubs, bars, cafes, clubs and breweries and are designed to prevent suicide, with a community-supported approach to prevention.

Founder, Aldinga local Jonathan Hart, developed the concepts after experiencing suicide distress in 2014.

“If it wasn’t for my Dad walking on the beach with me and just listening I might not be here.

“Without his care and concern during the toughest months of my life, I wouldn’t have made it through. He didn’t fix everything – he stayed close, reminded me I mattered, and helped me hold on. That connection made a difference.”

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, with World Suicide Prevention Day held on Wednesday, September 10.

To mark the date Jonathan will speak at a Pubs Supporting People event at Aldinga Hotel. Doors open 6pm for a 6.30pm start. He will be joined by Dan Ward from Project HYPE.

The public event is encouraging anyone with a mate they care for, or are concerned about, to attend.

To get involved, whether you’re a pub owner, bar staff or member of your local community, visit www.thewhispererteam.org/contact

It's Homelessness and Loneliness Awareness Week (4–10th of August) and a reminder that feeling lonely is more common than we think.

Isolation can deeply affect our mental health especially if we are not communicating the things that matter most to us.

When you're not feeling your best, reaching out can be hard. But you're not alone.

Sharing with someone how you're feeling can be a way forward, to start feeling better.

Like they say: "a problem shared is a problem halved".

Sharing (when you feel safe to do so) is caring (for yourself), it's not swearing.

#thewhispererteam #thepubwhisperer #glassempty #glassemptysignal #suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness

The Whisperer Team is a community-led network of volunteers who want to make a difference.

The Glass Empty Signal is a project taking shape in South Australian pubs, clubs, cafes and breweries. A signal that can save lives. We want to stop suicide & promote life in our communities.

How ?
Encourage people to Seek support.
Encourage people to Display the signal (coaster upside down on your glass)
Encourage people to Be Brave enough to tell someone how you feel.

Who?
A whisperer can be anyone.
A whisperer will recognise the signal.
A whisperer will be trained to recognise the signs.
A whisperer will know what to say.
A whisperer will connect you to services if you need them.

Don't Coast on by.
We're Here to Hear Ya.

Visit The Whisperer Team on facebook & Instagram to learn more about how to get involved or get in touch directly here.

#thewhispererteam #glassempty #promotelife #suicideaware

It was a clothes peg coupled with a message of hope that began the journey into discussions around suicide prevention and promoting life in our region, last night.

For many of the crowd it may have seemed like an odd mix – a clothes peg and a positive message.

But the intent was simple – let’s help get our mates over the line.

Sometimes it’s that odd mix, that can put a smile on someone’s face.

Like a friendly, caring human who walks into the pub while a stern and shrewd publican ensures his staff aren’t slacking off on the job, whilst still providing a great mix of fun and banter.

These odd couple types can be found in cafes, bars, clubs, pubs, wineries and breweries – anywhere drinks are sold – and they can save lives.

The event was the launch of The Whisperer Team’s Search for The Community Whisperers in the seaside suburb of Aldinga, South Australia. Community Whisperers are people in the community who can assist those doing it tough and are in need of a conversation and potentially a suicide intervention, in order to get them feeling safe again.

Attendees were invited to purchase a peg to represent someone lost to suicide or of someone who needed some love and support, particularly with their mental health.

The single pegs were then hung up on a line, between two trees, with an image of the Pub Whisperer’s silhouette above it.

Around 25 people sat in the Aldinga Hotel’s beer garden, to hear me, Jono, the original Pub Whisperer (and creator and community connector of The Whisperer Team) and Michelle Kemmler creator of I Care Consulting and the City of Onkaparinga’s yearly Suicide Prevention Walk (and a community connector of The Whisperer Team), discuss the startling stats of suicide, the journey of The Whisperer Team – from it’s beginnings as The Pub Whisperer from the Great Aussie Pubs website to the creation of the Model, Method and Signal that The Whisperer Team shares via coasters, posters and its website.

We had ice breakers, questions from the audience and photo opportunities wearing The Pub Whisperer Hat (it is an exceptionally lucky one to wear, for reasons explained on the night).

However what I failed to explain in my talk was the startling discovery that simple research has made clear to me, after studying the stats and new info last week in the lead up to the talk.

In regards to the suicide statistics and why both current political parties are doing the barest minimum to assist with suicide prevention in the large scheme of things.

Suicide is the biggest killer of people aged 15 to 44 and the second highest for those aged 45 to 65.

Beyond the human impacts, the economic cost of mental ill health, suicide attempts and suicide is estimated to be $220 billion each year. That’s $220 BILLION EACH YEAR.

The amount the Federal Government has allocated to the Suicide Prevention Leadership & Support program through the new National Suicide Prevention Strategy handed down last month?

Just $69 million.

Over 10 years.

It’s in addition to the $16.6 million investment in First Nations activities under the NSPLSP announced in December last year.

And no one is making this an election issue?

What a joke.

It was a warm summer’s day in late 2024.

I was in my flat in Aldinga Beach, South Australia, and fancied a coffee.

A coffee place not far away was on my mind, so I paid it a visit to grab a vanilla latte.

I had just brought out a coaster which featured a suicide prevention signal that I had developed, to be a part of something I call The Whisperer Team.

It’s an organisation that promotes life and prevents suicide – by organising things like pub parties while also ensuring there are people in the community who can support those emotionally, who may be alone and experiencing suicidal thoughts, and are reluctant to call a helpline.

So, having just had the coasters created, and the fact that the coffee place sold drinks, I was confident, enthusiastic and a little too gung ho when I approached their team with the offer of the coasters to sell on my behalf and use at their venue.

I don’t know what convinced me that stores and other organisations would offer the coasters, but I was a touch naive, now looking back on it, to think everyone was as passionate as me about preventing suicide.

We had a difficult conversation and they declined my offer.

I mean, I get it that everyone but those who follow through thinks suicide is a harmful choice, considering we’ve all been given the gift of life. And while life for most of us does get tough sometimes and suicide ought to be prevented wherever possible, my concept is not for everyone.

I just didn’t realise that not everyone wanted to do something about it.

Well, maybe they do, but just not my way.

Did I stuff up with my approach? Sure, it was a mistake. Did I feel guilty, maybe for a few days. Did that error of judgment redirect me to a better way of approaching businesses and venues? Yes it did.

And so here I am, with a local pub, brewery and café on board in our local Aldinga area, hoping I may find some people interested in seeing the vision of creating a Whisperer Team in the area.

If you take a look at the logo of The Whisperer Team, it tells a story.

In the middle you have the man with his arms folded, he’s The Pub Whisperer, looking back on the past and saying, “suicidal thoughts end here.” This was the original concept that emerged from me travelling Australia and creating the www.greataussiepubs.com.au website.

To his right you have The Community Whisperer saying “yes, we can do this, onwards and upwards, lets prevent suicide in the community” and behind them both, looking to the future as well, is a woman, championing the idea that men (and women) are working together to help their brothers and sisters during tough times.

So that’s exactly what I’m looking for in our community: men and women, who would like to assist in creating safe spaces within venues where there are drinks sold – pubs, clubs, café and breweries, to name a few – so people going through tough times can deploy The GLASS EMPTY Suicide Prevention Signal, and be assisted to safety, should they feel isolated, alone and suicidal in places where connection is encouraged.

It’s a project destigmatising the idea that suicide ideation should be shameful when it is the only thought and emotion available, making compassion cool and creating connection in places where people may need to have a real conversation, rather than just on a phone line, if they have no one personally they can turn to for that assistance – to find hope again.

I felt this approach was necessary given that "official" suicide rates in Australia rose from 8 to 9 a day during covid. That's 7 men and 2 women on average.

On April 28 in the beer garden of the Aldinga Hotel I’ll be hosting an evening to find “Community Whisperers” who would like to assist their community with suicide interventions.

Come find out more about how the organisation began, its vision for the future and how you can assist on a community level in reducing the rate of suicide in our region.

This is ideal for people who have been there, with lived experience of mental health issues, and have come out the other side, and people who can empathise with those doing it tough.

More at www.thewhisperer.team

Just some more quick statistics on suicide:

In Australia suicide is the leading cause of death for people aged 15 to 44 and the second highest for the 45 to 65 age group.

In 2020 to 2022 one in 6 people in Australia aged 16 to 85 experienced suicidal thoughts or behaviours in their life.

An estimated 65,000 Australians make a suicide attempt every year.

In 2022, the suicide rate among Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people was approximately twice that of non-indigenous Australians.

On average 26.9% of suicides in the Australian population have alcohol in their system at the time of death. Around the world that figure can be up to 69%. In some Australian areas the figure can be between 60% and 100%.

That’s what the research says, and meeting people where they are at, in pubs, clubs, cafes and breweries etc. is why The Whisperer Team can make a difference.

According to trauma and addiction expert Gabor Mate: “when you look at the studies on what makes for effective therapy, it’s not the technique of the therapist, it’s not their formal or academic qualifications, it’s the quality of the relationship between the client and the therapist.

“There was an interesting study that shows the heart emits electrical waves or radiation, as does the brain, and when the waves and radiation between the heart and the brain are in sync, there’s a state of calmness and presence.

“The most effective moments of therapy were when the radiation of both the client and the therapist were in sync with one another.

“This happened more often when the therapist was listening rather than when they were speaking.

“So it wasn’t the great insights of the therapist that made the hugest difference, it was the capacity of the therapist to actually listen, and be present.

“To really be present with the client.”

Join Michelle Kemmler, from I Care Consulting in the City of Onkaparinga, (part of the Team so far). We hope to see you at The Aldinga Hotel beer garden at 7pm,  Monday, April 28.

For more information or to book your free seat visit here, email me at [email protected], message me here or call me on 0430 60 7827.

The team at Cafe Crema is on The Whisperer Team - promoting life and addressing suicide ideation in our community.

Parked on their tables are The GLASS EMPTY Suicide Prevention Signal coasters and the, much more light-hearted, "I'm Single Signal" coasters.

Drop by and say g'day to Paz and the team at the Aldinga Shopping Centre in South Australia, who are demonstrating by their actions that they truly care for their community.